Parasiiti
Parasiiti is a Finnish metal/folk/horror rock band formed in 1979 by Stephen 'Fry' McEntire and Vilem Evgenyev. They toured with their friends the Weird Sisters in 1982, even though in some countries (namely Finland and Japan) Parasiiti's sales have surpassed those of the Sisters. Their line up includes voice, drums, guitar and keyboard.
History
Formed in 1979 when Fry and Vilem were skipping class and wondering just what they were going to be doing after school. Fry decided it would be a brilliant idea to start a band, as he was usually seen with a pair of drumsticks already. Together they started pulling in musicans they knew about in the school and finally formed Ikkuna Princessi before the end of their Seventh Year. The name came from the drunken ramble of Vilem, whom somehow was learning Finnish despite being from Belarus. The band has undergone very few changes since 1979 and Fry and Vilem are still two of the main creative forces behind the band.
Their first album, released in 1980 called As Long as we Beat the English (We Don't Care), full of attacks on the English culture and the idea that they were going to attempt to take over the world with horrid teeth. It was released on Nemesis Records, the bands own label backed by the money from the Juozapavicius family which highly believed in the creative talent of their twins, Svitrigaila and Valentinavyczia. ALAWBTE failed to chart outside of Finland but that didn't discourage the band from creating a tour out of their homelands of Eastern European towns. The tour began after the band graduated from Hogwarts and lasted until the early 1980's. During this time their lead singer felt it necessary to push the idea that they were a horror rock band and demanded the useage of stage blood during each of their performances. The elaborate stage shows gave them instant popularity with the underground anti-punk movement during the early part of the 80's and soon the street team for Ikkuna Princessi raised the band to fame. During the summer of 1981, Ikkuna Princessi started filming their first music video for the single First You Trade The Mic for a Caddy which featured the band in various costumes filming in ice caves in Northern Finland. This video, smuggled into London and forced into play on the WMVTV channel, was an instant success.
During the winter of 1981, Ikkuna Princessi was in shambles. Their early success was just a taste of the life they wanted and with constant fighting within the band, they were forced to make changes. Svitrigaila was moved to bass, Valentinavyczia moved to guitar, and newcomer Steve McMillian was brought in for lead vocals. This change of vocal talent brought confusion to the bands loyal fans and many felt that this time between October 1981 and May 1982 was the lowest point for the band. They cranked out two singles during this time Pawn Shoppes Can Kiss Our Arse and Where the Fuck is the Soap?; neither of which made it onto any chart. It wasn't until late May 1982 that another change was made within the band. The final change was when Steve decided he no longer wished to be a part of Ikkuna Princessi and left the band to lead a rival metal band in Helsinki. Without a lead singer and without a wish to place Svitrigaila back at lead vocals, the band was forced to take to the streets. After two weeks of auditions, the replacement was brought in and told to start working. The final line up until August 1982 was as follows: Regulus Black on vocals, Svitrigaila on bass, Valentinavyczia and Vilem on guitar, Fry on drums and Richard Mewherst on keyboard. They also changed the bands name creating a fresh start for the band and came up with Parasiiti thanks, once again, to the drunken rambles of Vilem. Also, with this change, many of the bands founding members took on stage names. Svitrigaila turned to Burton Jones, Valentinavyczia turned to Midge Jones, Vilem (Diconovich) Evgenyev turned into Vil Dico, Fry has always been Fry.
When the outbreak of The Sick appeared in Finland, two members caught the disease, Midge Jones and Richard Mewherst. The two were soon sent to St. Mungo's in the middle of a small Finnish tour. During the month, Richard passed away while Midge made a full recovery. This forced another line up change and thanks to the drunken wanderings of Regulus Black, it was made quickly. Burton Jones moved from bass to keyboard, Midge Jones moved from guitar to bass and newcomer Bertram 'Lin' Aubrey took over guitar. The newly reformed band recorded their final songs for their second album Storybook Stabbing just in time to be noticed by The Weird Sisters and offered the opening spot in their American tour. The album was sent to the record company this time with praises from the fans and was finally picked up by Fuel Records. Though with this signing they were presented with something they hadn't had yet, a manager. Annikki Duedson joined the band with the backing of Fuel which was owned by her father and remains the manager for Parasiiti to this day.
During the tour, the title track for the record Storybook Stabbing was rejected by Fuel Records. Parasiiti was quick to rename the album after Regulus's drunken statement to Fry. Soon Mess Just Standing was released and rose quickly into the Top Ten not only in magical England but Muggle England as well. They were soon slotted on Top of the Pops thanks to Blood Razor Love, their first real single. Regulus Black's spooky vocals along with the over abundance of heavy guitar sound within the band has caused Parasiiti to remain at the top of their game and they are quickly recording their next album in Finland called Stop Getting Fucking Married, Fry.
Band Members
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Regulus Black - Lead Vocals and guitar
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Fry (real name Stephen McEntire) - Drums
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Vil Dico (real name Vilem Diconovich Evgenyev)- Lead guitar
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Burton Jones (real name Svitrigaila Juozapavicius)- Keyboard
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Midge Jones (real name Valentinavyczia Juozapavicius)- Bass
- Lin Aubrey (real name Bertram Aubrey)- Guitar
Regulus Black
Slytherin
The second to last member brought into the band, Regulus Black brings haunting vocals and a deep soulful sound to the metal band. He has been quoted as saying he smokes 60 cigarettes a day to keep his voice like it is and is the second most tattooed member of the band. He is from London, England and one of the first members to actually learn Finnish. He is firmly anti-drugs, resisting most everything but pot and is the only divorced member of the band, his marriage to Hestia Jones ending just a few months ago. Regulus has also offered up Grimmauld as the bands home away from home and has requested a sound studio built in the basement so they can record there. He is also one of the main writers of songs and plays guitar when necessary.
Fry McEntire
Hufflepuff
One of the founding members of the band, Fry comes from Dublin, Ireland where it is highly suspected that his family owns a pub and is also proud members of the IRA. Since his breakup with Francis Podmore last year, he has gone on a wild marriage spree marrying three girls in the last year and divorcing none of them. The bigamist claims to have an Italian, an Icelandic and a German wife, each unknowing of the other ones. The main wife is named Rhian Beckenbauer whom he actually enjoys being around and rumors of a pregnancy are flying. Fry has been banned from Germany due to a rather large amount of arrests and the fact that Rhian's father is a muggle Ambassador thus able to ban his deadbeat son-in-law from the country. He spent his time in school in Hufflepuff selling drugs to every other house and spent a rather memorable time running around the Great Lake in only his house scarf. He somehow has a driving license but has destroyed a car every week since he got that license.
Vil Dico
Ravenclaw, Exchange student from Школа Минск волшебства (Minsk School of Magic)
Vilem Diconovich, aka Vil Dico, is one of the founding members of the band. Originally from Belarus, Vil came to Hogwarts as an exchange student in his seventh year, and never left. He's an innocent soul, easily confused by...just about anything, and often doesn't realise what country he's in (which, sadly enough, is easily forgivable considering the band's tendency to move between countries and languages quite a bit). Despite the fact that he comes from a rather oppressed and poor background, Vil nearly always has a bright disposition regarding, well, just about anything. He speaks something around four languages, he's Reg's third cousin (his grandmother and Reg's grandmother were cousins, but Vil's married a Russian Muggle and was thereafter disowned), and he's a major clean freak. Or, at least compared to the rest of Parasiiti, he is. He acts as a bit of a paternal figure for the band, cooking, cleaning and basically taking care of them when they're too drunk to do anything, and basically has only been drunk when the band forced that alcohol down his poor, innocent, virginal throat. He's also Liz's cousin and has a crazy big family, though in the "every cousin and their cousin and Baba has to come live with us!", which he misses the hell out of. He feels especially bad for not being there because they're living in the dark, since the Russians took their lightbulbs.
Burton Jones
Ravenclaw
The world's most adorable serial killer, this Lithuanian twin seems to be almost bipolar. After a bit of sleep, and when he's with his fiancee, Liz (aka Stasy), Svitrigaila Juozapavicius is in the highest of spirits, and can even be seen listening to his brother's Lithuanian rap. Keep him awake for too long, and he will "rob convenience stores", which is suspected code for killing the homeless. A former addict of countless drugs, Burton, oddly enough, is terrified of needles. Despite the fact that half his body is covered in tattoos. He, like his brother, has a terribly addictive personality, and after years of putting bleach in his water to pass drug tests, he's addicted to it. He took the name Burton at the age of 18, after "robbing a convenience store" and taking the name of the clerk, he's a natural blonde, and once broke his finger falling on stage while flipping off the crowd. He's proud to be Lithuanian, and hates all Russians except his girlfriend. Oh, and he's not gay. Despite what anyone says.
Midge Jones
Ravenclaw
This hyperactive Lithuanian born wizard seems to be made of nothing but sugar and headphones. In early 1983, Midge was introduced to a new form of music out of his home country called Lithuanian Rap and has made it his mission in life to make the rest of the band love it just as much as he does. He currently wears a pink helmet on stage worried that he will fall and hurt something and ends up wrapped up in his bass cord. He has a highly addictive personality finding it hard to let go of Velnio Nuotakas, his Lithuanian musical video which must be played to keep him occupied on long tours. He has the most piercings in the band sporting a nose ring and a tongue ring and various other holes in his body. His hair is naturally two colours, a genetic trait passed down from his father Doc. He has no idea how he picked up the name Midge out of his Valentinavyczia, but it is a part of the Juozapavicius family secrets. He is currently dating Dahlgren Doyle and dancing with his bling.
Lin Aubrey
Gryffindor
Swedish born from a beekeeper line, Lin comes to the band knowing how to play guitar. He was the last member to be recruited found by Regulus when he went off wandering one night. Before joining with Parasiiti, Lin was living in London building coo-coo clocks for his income and living with his platonic live in friend Paco Diaz. He also is still married to a Swiss witch called Johanna and with her produced a young girl named Tanqueray or just Tank. He refuses to do anything that 'the man' has forced him to do and as a rebellion, he refuses to wear shoes. Because of this, Lin doesn't travel without Paco even though they can not communicate due to the fact that Lin refuses to admit he knows English and Paco only knows Spanish. He is, actually, quite fluent in English thanks to his mother whom is an English teacher and tends to just add 'ja' to the end of his sentences saying that it is Swedish and who should tell him it isn't because he is Swedish.
Non-Band Members of Parasiiti
Annikki Duedson
Beauxbatons
Annikki showed up within Parasiiti simply because her father signed the band and she was with Fry at the time. Since that time, she has organized two tours, a recording session and somehow kept the whole band together and not dead nor in jail. Of course, she isn't perfect but she understands how the musical world works and keeps her band happy and together. With her behind Parasiiti, they keep up a relentless tour schedule but are easily found in houses all near each other in Finland which was one of Nik's ideas. Nik has ended up in a relationship with Rupert Croaker, the manager for Celestina Warbeck and is actually pregnant with their first child. This has only forced her to create more problems for the band as she sends out select members for random food at quite odd times. Just don't let her near Charlotte Wilde as she believes Charlotte is the worst manager ever and has no idea how the Sisters got so big with her managing them.
'Doc' Juozapavicius
Muggle
Doc, which isn't his real name just what everyone calls him, may or may not be a real doctor, but in this family it's likely that he may be. Seems to be able to get the kids to do things most of the time, calls his sons by their real names and puts the curse of Bobo (their Mum Mum with a large mole who's a Russian gypsy) on them. Married to Mum Jones for who knows how long and somehow ended up with wizard sons. He might be Lithuanian...actually I bet he is. Just don't ask him a Jones family secret or he'll spout numbers at you. He is pretty easy going as one would have to be with the twins and he rather does enjoy their soda, even if he claims he doesn't. Overly excited that both of the twins finally have relationships with females, he pops in from time to time to drop off presents like pocket knives and batteries.
Elanor Juozapavicius
Muggle
She's responsible for Velnio Nuotakas, for teaching Midge how to dance, and for introducing the world of makeup to the boys. Yep, she's the one to blame. Rather cheerful and bouncy, she's probably where the two got their insane energy, and has the patience of a saint. Because, really. Honestly. Seriously. Would you be able to raise those two? She also tends to be called Poe a lot due to her name being Elanor and it simply doesn't seem to bother her much at all. Quite amazed by the fact that her Burton is actually dating a girl, she's showering Liz with gifts just to make her stick around and hopefully produce grandchildren, maybe, in the far future. Maybe.
Anastasia 'Holly' Elyashkevich-Juozapavicius
Durmstrang
Liz lives and works in London at a small S&M club called Victorian Corsetry where she picked up the name Liz, being called Elizabeth there due to the fact that everyone has turn of the century names. It's part of the whole thing. She's overly fond of the strike outs and tends to write everything behind them and then cross everything out and write something else. She's rather intelligent and is working her way through law school. Somehow she ended up with Burton, most likely is keeping him out of jail and really wonders what's wrong with Vil. She is also learning Spanish from Paco, though she doesn't know Spanish and he doesn't know any of the three other lanaguges she speaks and so she is learning really bad Spanish. Though that doesn't stop her from trying to speak it more often than she really should.
Tabitha Smith
Ravenclaw
Tab is really a rarety around Parasiiti: she's English and a pureblood. A Weird Sisters fangirl (president of the fanclub for three years!), Tab has always been a music lover. She wanted to be a musician herself as a kid, even going so far as to travel with a Muggle production of Annie in her youth. Despite being from a strictly pureblood family, this experience changed her stance completely on the blood issue, and has a view unique to most purebloods: she does not see a difference between Muggles and wizards. As she matured, Tab realised that she didn't exactly have the chops to make it as a musician, but she could always be around it if she went into music journalism. Tab currently works at the Daily Prophet, doing the occasional freelance work for Spellstrums and Witch Weekly. Despite her occasionally rather ditzy attitude, she can be a total bitch when she feels the need to be. Which can be a lot. Really. She's also currently sexing Drew.
Paco Diaz
La Academia de Barcelona
A Spanish wizard from a circus family, Paco found his way to England, and into the life of Lin. The two lived together, speaking in funny accents as Lin made clocks and Paco did what Paco did. He is regarded as much a member of Parasiiti as the other members, despite the fact that his only job with the band seems to be carrying Lin (who refuses to wear shoes) from place to place. It's a unique sight, really, to see the 6'5" Swede being carried by a short Spaniard. He hardly speaks any English and has yet to learn any of the languages being spoken by other members of the band, which is why he is currently attempting to teach Liz Spanish. And failing, really.
Natalia Juozapavicius
Muggle
Natalia can be found most likely in her own tattoo studio in Lithuania. What? Lithuanians need tattoos too. She is the oldest sibling of the Jones family by a year and a half and ended up without a drop of magical blood in her body. Forced to go to a Soviet Muggle school her whole life made her really want to break out of the norm and has turned her body into a work of art. Attempting to get Burton just as covered in tattoos as she is, Natalia flies in from time to time to check up on the family when she gets around to it. Happy as everything that her brothers are finally doing something she can be proud of, she stocks Jones Soda in her studio and even has the soda's label tattooed to the back of her neck. She actually even looks like Burton so he can't say he is adopted anymore. Oh and she has a small white dog named Camel, can you tell she smokes?
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